The best mirror is an old friend. A true friendship, like a good marriage, endures through ups and downs, gratification and compromises. A friend is someone with whom you can be yourself without any pretence.
Plato said ‘similarity begets friendship’. Aristotle opined, ‘We love those who are like ourselves’. Popular adages also include ‘birds of a feather flock together’ or ‘friends are the family we choose’ or ‘a man is known by the company he keeps’.
The best kind of friendship is with people with whom you can sink into with comfort and trust, who give you unconditional support, are non-judgmental, and have the time to hear you out and give you your due regard, and those who do not put on an act.
Choosy about friends
Many are choosy about friends, but some just let friendships happen to them. Therein lies the difference between a life well lived, and one barely lived.
Unlike blood ties, (remember the notorious quote, ‘We make friends by choice, and relations by accident!’), we have the option of choosing friends. Research proves that humans and animals strike friendships with those who have traits similar to their own personality, build, and general looks as well. Scientists allude that there is a genetic pattern to our friendships too. Friends are supposed to share one per cent of our DNA!
To others however, friendships are more of a reciprocal nature, based on mutual benefits. Such a choice also charts the course of our destiny to some extent, and hence a good support system of friends can become one’s greatest strength, while weak friends can be a disaster.
The United States Congress, in 1935, proclaimed the first Sunday of August as the National Friendship Day.
Since then, it has become an annual event; the idea of honouring friends caught on, and it has now become a hugely regular festival of sorts.
Friendship Day earlier meant an exchange of cards or a quick message on your mobile, but now there are a whole lot of paraphernalia at greeting card shops, gift stores and a few supermarkets. While a majority of the customers are college students, happily, there are adults as well, who have had the longest friendship.
A true friend is like a mirror
You are blessed if you get real friends, the ones who you know from way back, who’ve seen you through the pimples, marital disorders, and anxiety attacks. They are alternately mean and loving, but they usually tell you the truth. They may have absolutely nothing in common with you, but they are always around when you need them.
Permit me a contrarian view too. I step out and befriend people in my environment, without waiting for them to reach out to me; neither do I really scout around and identify whom I really would like to know. This is because I believe in the dictum, ‘Few friends and more acquaintances.’ I am content with friends whom I can count on my fingers, and confess most others are frenemies or people with agendas to serve themselves. I regularly unfriend many on Facebook and Twitter too. Friendship, hence, does not come with a guarantee.
Need a friend? Text me.
Need a Laugh? Call me
Need Money? This number is no longer in service.
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A five year old boy asked his friend, “What is friendship”?
He replied, “Friendship is when you steal my chocolates everyday from my bag…and yet I keep them in the same place”.
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A touching line before a death..
Don’t bury me immediately after my death/ My friends have a habit of coming late.”
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Friends buy you lunch/ Best friends eat your lunch!
Producer director Subhash Ghai a veteran of over three decades in Bollywood is on record stating, “One doesn’t have true friends in the film industry as people stick to one another for only mutual interests. Bonds get stronger only when a film clicks, and if it fails, it fades out”.
Some are loners at heart having spent growing years with themselves. They have seen more lows than highs in life.
In the Lord of the Rings trilogy, we have the hobbits Sam and Frodo setting out on their epic journey that tests their friendship at every step.
On the other hand, singer Demi Lovato is fascinated by ghosts and feels a strong connection with the afterlife. In fact, her Texan house she says, was haunted, and she was friends with a closet ghost that she named Emily. Hollywood actresses Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz have been the best of friends since their careers began. In fact, they almost died when the plane taking them to a set, nearly crashed, but their friendship grew stronger since.
Thus, there are powerful men and women who forged enduring friendships that have stood the test of time.Surrounding yourself with confident and motivated people, is a secret to success. Always planning, but never executing? A good friend here will motivate you into getting down to the task. It is the key to longevity and better health in old age.
Do not be the pleaser and don’t bully your friends, but be assertive about your choices and know what you want, rather than going along and maintaining the balance in any situation. You should not just live out good friendships, but rather live them up, but they need constant airing and working on.
Sometimes friends become lovers. A friendship can turn out to be a match made in heaven. When you enjoy spending more and more time and your companion’s presence lightens up your day; that is when you know that the relationship you share is not mere friendship. Some couples spend years as friends before they decide to hitch. Others realise their feelings only after they part ways. Their compatibility is quite evident. Not every friendship might turn out to be the kind of romance we expect it to, but friendship often forms the basis for deep love.
Above all, however, friendship with oneself is most important, because without it, one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
